To the older lady at a recent community event,
I know who you are. I've seen you at these events before. I thought you were joking when Maddy ran by you and you said, "Control her!" It never occurred to me that someone would actually say that. I laughed as I ran after her, but when I looked back at you, you were not smiling. It took me a minute to process what that meant, partially because I was busy watching where my daughter went. When I finally realized that you were serious, many mean thoughts went through my head. Part of me wanted to march back over to you and give you a piece of my mind. But I refrained. Partially because I was watching Maddy. Partially because I knew many people at the event and I didn't want to cause a scene. And finally, I didn't yell at you because I realized that by laughing at your comment as I hurried by probably irritated you more than if I had yelled at you.
You may not have much experience with a special needs child, a child who really can't sit still for very long and likes to explore unfamiliar environments. A child who can't communicate in words to anyone what she wants. She didn't hurt you. She didn't come near any of your stuff and she didn't break anything. She only blocked your view of the event for a few seconds as she ran past.
My daughter may look like a typical child, but you don't know our story. You don't know that my daughter doesn't speak. You don't know that I still have to cut my almost five year olds's food into bite size pieces so she can eat. I have no way to know if my daughter's in pain, or if she's bored. It took a long time for her to be able to communicate with us if she was hungry or thirsty or wanted to leave somewhere.
Would you tell me that I need to keep my daughter at home because of any of this? That I shouldn't take her to these types of events because it annoys you? Maddy isn't a "typical" child, but even if she was, you chose to judge her and me for that matter. Kids should be kids. Kids should be free to run around at such community events. We should want children to explore and run rather than ask them to sit still and be seen and not heard. There are many children who can't do those things due to a disability. We should encourage kids that can do those things to enjoy every bit of life they can grab. Maddy isn't a "typical" child, but even if she was, I would have let her explore the area surrounding the event. Because that is what we should encourage all kids to do, "typical" or not. That is what I will continue to encourage my daughter to do every day.
